Want a better connection to your audience? Introduce yourself, one-on-one, before you speak

I've probably addressed this before, but it bears saying again.  And again.  And again.

If you want to start off on the right foot with your audience and control that first impression before you ever speak, introduce yourself.  Instead of staying in the back of the room, or hovering by the podium or panel table reviewing your notes: Introduce Yourself!  

Walk into the room and just go up to the first person you see in the audience and say,

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Hi, I'm so-and-so and I'm your speaker today. 

Don't be surprised if they give you a wide smile and introduce themselves right back.  Then ask them a bit about themselves, and why they are there or other questions that will give you insight into what it is they want to get out of your presentation.

Then move on and reach out to more attendees.  Try to reach as many as you can up until right before you speak.  

What does this do for you?

First, it gives you more information about your audience, so you can tweak your presentation at the last minute, as needed, to better meet their needs.

Second, it helps break the ice with your audience. It helps break down the speaker/audience barrier and make you seem more human and more approachable.

Why does this matter? Because the more familiar you are to them, the more responsive your audience is going to be to you.

And for those of you that have a fear of public speaking, this is an excellent way to reduce your nerves. You will be busy meeting nice people and learning a little about them instead of standing behind a podium nervously waiting to speak with a tape in your head telling you how afraid you are.

Of course the corollary rule to this is: Thou Shalt Show up 20 - 30 minutes before you speak

Vital Speeches of the Day: How long should you practice your speech?

I love Vital Speeches of the Day, one of the few blogs I read on a semi-regular basis. 

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I just came across this very short post "How long should you practice your speech" and I recommend it for everyone. I get this question at every public speaking training program I teach, i.e. a lot.

And every time I answer the question, I usually get blank stares or looks of disbelief.  It's hard convincing very busy people to add more work to their schedules.  

But there really is no "easy" button when it comes to giving a good speech (much less an excellent one).

So read the post so you know I'm not the only person out there telling you to practice your speech - a lot - if you want to do it well.

 

 

VoiceAmerica Radio Interview: Public Speaking

Thursday, July 14 at 7 a.m., I will be interviewed by Cindy Rakowitz, a radio host at VoiceAmerica Talk Radio. The topics we will discuss include public speaking, how to organize a presentation, the importance of good introductions and much more. Ms. Rakowitz has been a talk show host for “Stars of PR” for over 5 years with an incredibly diverse audience. This is an interview you won’t want to miss!  Tune in online

Self-Monitoring: The Silent Killer in Stage Fright

by Peter Desberg Ph.D., author of Speaking Scared Sounding Good (Square One Publishers)

"I’m afraid I’ll get ‘pantsed’ in court.” 

This was an attorney’s explanation of why he was terrified to step into a courtroom. I immediately connected with this because as an adolescent, I had nightmares of being “pantsed” in a series of awkward situations…always with an audience of girls I had crushes on, so I knew how deep the fear of his embarrassment runs.

When I asked him why he thought he’d get “pantsed,” he came up with several reasons: “I may have omitted something in my preparation,”  “the other attorney may be much better than I am” and “I don’t think well on my feet under pressure.”

The content of your fear may be different, but the way your fears work is the same. Understand that everyone experiences stage fright…you just need the right situation to feel its grip.

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It Starts With A Prediction

As a psychologist, I can tell you that you make a prediction before you take any action, no matter how trivial. Depending on the familiarity and safety concerns, these predictions can be totally under your radar…or all-consuming.

Here’s a simple example. You want a glass of milk, so you just walk into the kitchen and get it.

So where are the predictions? Actually, you predicted that you will get to the kitchen and back safely, that there would be adequate milk in the fridge, and most importantly, that the milk has not exceeded its dreaded expiration date.

This would all happen so fast that you wouldn’t have noticed it, unless…

If you had broken a glass in the kitchen that morning and you were now barefoot, you might find yourself making a few safety predictions. If you once drank very stale milk and spent 20 minutes trying to get the taste out of your mouth, you might make a prediction here too. Here’s how the prediction process may look back in your law practice.

Preparing to go into court, you might be very likely to make predictions about the opposing attorneys -- especially if you know them to be competent, brutal and condescending. You might make predictions based on the assessment of your own skill level, your preparation and your ability to handle pressure.

Your predictions will also be affected by how much is at stake. Here is the formula for anxiety (this would play better if you could hear a drum roll in your head): if you are about to face a dangerous situation and believe that your resources are inadequate to handle it, you will become anxious. As you know, anxiety can be very distracting. Here’s what your brain does with these distractions.

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The Fiction of Multi-Tasking  

Research in Cognitive Science demonstrates that we are wired to do only one complex mental task at a time. If my word isn’t good enough for you and you still believe in multi-tasking…try this little demo:

Step 1 – Begin counting the words in this blog to yourself. Stop when you get to 20.

Step 2 - Begin counting the words again, but this time, repeat the word “the” to yourself over-and-over as you count.

Notice what happens to your counting. At best, your performance deteriorated. “The” is the most commonly used word in English. You have been counting since you were a small child. If repeating a common word is enough to interfere with a simple act like counting, think what may be going on in your brain during your courtroom presentations.

In a complex legal argument, you need all of your mental resources. You cannot count on them if you are self-monitoring. The human brain doesn’t have the capacity. When your attention drifts to your assessment of your performance or your predictions of it, or your attention is on how scared you feel, or how scared you look to the audience…something has to give.

As you begin to make mistakes or feel outside of your body observing yourself, you are experiencing the essence of stage fright. Is there more to the picture? Yes. Is there a way to deal with it? Yes… and that’s why we have another post coming soon.

Peter Desberg can be reached via email at: pdesberg@me.com.

 

 

 

Bar Associations should create Toastmasters Clubs for their Members

One of the most frequent questions I get when teaching my Public Speaking for Attorneys seminar is how to reduce nervousness/fear when speaking in public. Toastmasters International has a great “top ten” list that can help people with their fear and I endorse all of their suggestions.

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There is no better way to manage your fear than to:

  • be well prepared
  • know your materials inside and out
  • and to practice many times prior to your presentation. 

However, sometimes that just isn’t enough, especially for people with a high level of communication apprehension (yes, that is the technical term).

And when being prepared and practicing isn’t enough, I always recommend people join a local Toastmasters for 6 months to a year, so that they can give small, short speeches, over and over to a friendly, supportive, non-threatening audience.  This is an excellent way to work through your fear.

Recently someone at one of my seminars mentioned that law firms and corporations can form their own Toastmasters groups. This is indeed the case. If you go to Toastmasters, you can find more information about this.

While this idea has potential, it also has some drawbacks for those who have a significant amount of fear.  For most people, speaking in front of one's colleagues is not as easy as speaking in front of a group of supportive strangers.  This is because most people who fear public speaking are really afraid of embarrassing themselves and being judged.  And it is more risky to be judged by a colleague in your office than a stranger.

Instead of bringing the club to your law firm or public agency, ask your local bar association to create a Toastmasters club there.  This could help bar members tremendously - harnessing the power and experience of the Toastmasters organization while providing attorneys the opportunity to practice speaking to other attorneys in a non-threatening environment.

OK bar associations, who's game?  I'll even volunteer to head up a local Toastmasters group for the Los Angeles County Bar Association (LACBA) for the first year.